Interesting and funny newspaper articles

[Citizen X]

Thanks Vanash!

It's a sheer pleasure Cejay! There's lots more where that came from!

[Citizen X]

“Pastor on the run! ‘We lent him money for his wedding.’


Oh really pastor!!! ‘You alledgedly running away BUT YOU can’t run away from YOURSELF!” Think about it pastor you won’t be able to run away from your own self (allegedly)!
A man of God is allegedly on the run-with R10 000 of his friend’s money.
“We trusted him as he was a man of God. Then in October he asked for R10 000 for his wedding. ‘Members of his church weren’t happy to be led by a man who wasn’t married I sympathized with him, so I gave him the cash. He promised to repay me before December. BUT then he disappeared with his girl-friend. This July, I was told he was living in Kwanoxolo Township. When I found him, he promised to pay me. BUT when I went to collect my money I was told he had taken all his belongings and disappeared.”

So, I dedicate this particular poetic song to any pastor out there who is allegedly running away!!

“You running and you running and you running away.
You running and you running
But you can't run away from yourself
Can't run away from yourself
Can't run away from yourself
You must have done (must have done),
Something wrong (something wrong).
Said: you must have done (something wrong).
Why you can't find the
Place where you belong?

Every man thinketh his
Burden is the heaviest (heaviest).
Every man thinketh his
Burden is the heaviest (heaviest).
Yes, I still mean it: Who feels it knows it, Lord;
Who feels it knows it, Lord;
Who feels it knows it, Lord;
You running and you running
But you can't run away from yourself.
Could you run away from yourself?
Can you run away from yourself?
Can't run away from yourself!
Yeah-eah-eah-eah - from yourself.
You must have done somet'in' -
Someting - someting - someting -
Someting' you don't want nobody to know about:
You must have, Lord - something wrong,
What you must have done - you must have done something wrong.
And I don't want to live with no strife. (running away)
It is better to live on the housetop (running away)
Than to live in a house full of confusion. (running away)
So, I made my decision and I left you!; (running away)
Now you coming to tell me (running away)
That I'm running away. (running away)
But it's not true, I am not running' away”

[johndice]

“Pastor on the run! ‘We lent him money for his wedding.’


Oh really pastor!!! ‘You alledgedly running away BUT YOU can’t run away from YOURSELF!” Think about it pastor you won’t be able to run away from your own self (allegedly)!
A man of God is allegedly on the run-with R10 000 of his friend’s money.
“We trusted him as he was a man of God. Then in October he asked for R10 000 for his wedding. ‘Members of his church weren’t happy to be led by a man who wasn’t married I sympathized with him, so I gave him the cash. He promised to repay me before December. BUT then he disappeared with his girl-friend. This July, I was told he was living in Kwanoxolo Township. When I found him, he promised to pay me. BUT when I went to collect my money I was told he had taken all his belongings and disappeared.”

So, I dedicate this particular poetic song to any pastor out there who is allegedly running away!!

“You running and you running and you running away.
You running and you running
But you can't run away from yourself
Can't run away from yourself
Can't run away from yourself
You must have done (must have done),
Something wrong (something wrong).
Said: you must have done (something wrong).
Why you can't find the
Place where you belong?

Every man thinketh his
Burden is the heaviest (heaviest).
Every man thinketh his
Burden is the heaviest (heaviest).
Yes, I still mean it: Who feels it knows it, Lord;
Who feels it knows it, Lord;
Who feels it knows it, Lord;
You running and you running
But you can't run away from yourself.
Could you run away from yourself?
Can you run away from yourself?
Can't run away from yourself!
Yeah-eah-eah-eah - from yourself.
You must have done somet'in' -
Someting - someting - someting -
Someting' you don't want nobody to know about:
You must have, Lord - something wrong,
What you must have done - you must have done something wrong.
And I don't want to live with no strife. (running away)
It is better to live on the housetop (running away)
Than to live in a house full of confusion. (running away)
So, I made my decision and I left you!; (running away)
Now you coming to tell me (running away)
That I'm running away. (running away)
But it's not true, I am not running' away”
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run pastor run! (forrest gump) lol

[Citizen X]

run pastor run! (forrest gump) lol

I couldn't have expressed it better myself!! I like to add to it though: Here we need the soundtrack "Chariots of Fire," to play while the alledged running is taking palce..I can almost hear it play now..LOL

[Citizen X]

Road painters drunk or dom!
Now pay attention! It’s not ‘SOTP,’ BUT RATHER ‘STOP!’
EVEN, ‘little Kegomoditswe Segapo knows that’s not how they spell STOP at her CRECHE! This SOTP sign is at an intersection in Mohlakeng.'
“All the schoolkids who can spell, think it’s very funny. BUT their parents are not amused! They say the sign painters must either be drunk or unable to read and write.
OFCOURSE the taxi drivers love it! As they speed right over the stop street, they shout: “ We not going to stop here because the cops can’t fine us for not SOTPPING!”

[Citizen X]

Rejected lover takes revenge!
Urine and mealie-meal in his bed!
“Never put two cows and a bull in the same kraal at night! That’s what taxi driver Takalani Nekhavhambe(28) learned the hard way. He was with his girlfriend at his parent’s house in Diepsloot, north of Joburg, on Monday. To his surprise, his ex-girlfriend arrived.
Early the next morning Takalani went to work and his girlfriend also left. The former girlfriend was still asleep.
BUT Takalani got the shock of his life when he returned home that night!
In a jealous rage, his old girlfriend had emptied a 25-Litre bucket of urine and dirty water on his bed. Then she poured mielie-meal all over it. She also cut his mattress with a knife and burnt some of his balnkets and clothes. And she drove a knife through one of his T-Shirts as if to stab his heart!”

[Phil Cooper]

Must have been pi@@ed off!

[monaknight03]

Strike forecast!!
You've heard of weather forecast but are you familiar with strike forecast??
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This is really funny.... Great strike forecast ha ha..

[Citizen X]

This is really funny.... Great strike forecast ha ha..

A very good afternoon to you Monaknight
Welcome to TFSA
Share some funny and interesting newspaper articles from your country....

[Citizen X]

Must have been pi@@ed off!

Here the DS needs to do a follow-up! Did he and his girl friend try and clean the mattress and then still sleep in it or did they get another mattress.. 25 l of urine and such other stuff seeping into your mattress! I think theirs another potential story there i.e. what happened afterwards?

[Citizen X]

“BEAT ME-DON’T CALL COPS – I’M NOT A BIG THUG.”
“ A man who stole from a spaza shop begs people to beat him instead of calling the police.’
“ He and a friend robbed a shop of R800 in cash and R100 worth of airtime vouchers and ran away. BUT then he remembered that he had not taken his favourite cold drink, so he turned back to steal a bottle of Sprite!”
“The thug was caught with his cold drink, the cash and airtime vouchers. He begged the residents to beat him up rather than calling the cops. He said he did not have money for bail.
“PLEASE DON’T beat me up too HARSHLY because I am not a BIG thug,” he said.”
“Residents Samria Ntibane(50) said the people fetched sjamboks from their homes.”
“ We do not take orders from thugs, so we beat him and then called the police,’ said Samaria

[IanF]

“ We do not take orders from thugs, so we beat him and then called the police,’ said Samaria

Now will Samaria be charged with assault?

[Citizen X]

A very good evening to you Ian,
I doubt very much that Samria even thought that far! This one makes for a very compelling legal argument, the thug consents to be beaten and in fact offers that as a possible solution to their dilemma. He suggested it, though his request was not for them to beat him very harshly on the basis that he was not a big thug. They did enter into a contract of some sort. Yes, the conclusion, object and performance of the contract was unlawful and Samria and friends breached the contract in that they heeded his request and beat him up but they also called the police which was not what he consented to!!!
Look mob justice is unlawful, and I don’t condone it, but I do understand the frustration of the people! I suppose there is a valid case of assault but the court should also consider that the thug suggested the beating in a customary tradition of resolving their dispute!

[IanF]

Vanash,
This might be traditional but then the law should be changed to reflect this reality. Great argument you should become a lawyer

[Citizen X]

Vanash,
This might be traditional but then the law should be changed to reflect this reality. Great argument you should become a lawyer

You know Ian, with this thread I'm attempting to highlight interesting and funny newspaper articles Some of the conduct of the protaganists in these articles are no doubt unlawful but nonetheless funny. Bear in mind, you'll only find this calibre of story right here in South Africa and absolutely nowhere else on this planet!!! I'm trying in earnest to become an attotney, but I tell you that the revised LLB is indeed formidable for me! Studying law at my age and dealing with everything else in life has proved thus far to be challenging, I'm still in the game though...