An open letter from Karl Marx to Julius Malema!!!!!
1.“Juju, is that your name, Juju? I am deeply disturbed that this ill witted poor and wandering scholar VN would dare to conjure my spirit up from the depths of hell to speak some sense in the likes of you, Juju! Who is vn anyway?, yes, from the depths of hell I’ve witnessed him studying all my works over many years. He still doesn’t understand my mathematical treatise though and he’s never engaged in a good old fashioned coup. Revolutionaries ain’t what they used to be JuJu!” Straight to the point then Juju, points 1 to 10 is a general introduction, you may skip this, if you don't like studying that is! Point 11 is especially for you Juju..”
2.” I’m not entirely sure how this conjuring up of a spirit works, but here I am! As my spirit was conjured up, I came in earnest thinking it was to give my lad Fidel Castro some final words of wisdom before he joins me. I like Fidel Juju, I like him! I was immediately presented with a plea to give some words of wisdom to you Juju, my very first question though rightfully was, “ Who the hell is Juju???”3. “Juju, I am acutely aware that I have influenced many, I know this for a fact as when they joined me here in hell they told me so. The following lads can attest to my influence:Lenin, Stalin, Trotsky, Mao and Guevara, to be modest and name just a few. Even as I speak to you Juju, Lenin, Stalin, Trotsky, Mao and Guevara are deliberating on one simple dilemma who the hell is Malema?”4. Juju, for the sake of brevity I’m no comrade of you Juju. You can just refer to me as Dr Marx. I cannot and will not in good conscience be associated directly or even indirectly with the likes of you Juju! I just want to emphasize, that I went to school Juju in Trier and done exceptionally well! I engaged in extensive study Juju at several universities! I studied at the Bonn University, the Berlin University and the University of Jena where I obtained my doctorate, so no Juju, it’s not comrade to you, it’s Dr Marx! Even from the depths of hell I realise that been affiliated with you Juju is potentially very damaging to me! Juju, I was a lecturer, a journalist and a writer. Juju, ‘If you know your history, then you juju, wouldn’t have to ask me, who the hell do you think I am!” Juju, if you just google it, you will find that in 1845 along with my mate Engels, I visited England. And, no Juju, I didn’t go to visit the queen or site seeing, on the contrary Juju, I spent most of my time there in the Manchester Library studying many, many, many books Juju. It wasn’t easy! I most certainly did not get F for woodwork or for any other of my high school subjects. As a matter of fact Juju, woodwork was not even recognised as a bona fide subject in high school in my time. There was no woodwork subject. I done subjects such as maths, science and history. You finished your high school at the age of 21 and you failed most of your subjects. You also got a F for woodwork! Juju, I am for education and not against education! In fact on 10 August 1869 I delivered a speech on general education. Now, this is going to be a mouth full, I’ll go easy on you! I argued that we required a change of social circumstances to establish a proper system of education but that on the other hand a proper system of education was required to bring a change of social circumstances. Are you following me??? I even postulated a theory of learning, I investigated how skills and knowledge are acquired. I surmised that the truth of thought must be demonstrated in practice.
5. “Juju, it’s increasingly difficult to summarize all my entire belief system in this forum but in short, I’m against greedy capitalist who exploit their workers. I’m not against any race or racial group. If you study all my writings very clearly you will find that I never articulated a racial struggle but rather a class struggle! Even from the depths of hell I can clearly see that you South Africans are divided on economic and income lines. I see greedy White, Black, Indian and Coloured capitalists exploiting their workers. You have the White boss, you have the Black boss, you have the Indian boss and you have the Coloured boss! They all greedy capitalist. The White boss is no less greedy that the Black, Indian and Coloured Boss! You see where I’m going Juju CLASS STRUGGLE not race struggle!!! In my humble opinion as Karl Marx you are sparking racial conflict. I was never about sparking racial conflict because I realized that regardless of ones race money, wealth and assets corrupt the person. I remain against the greedy capitalist. Even from hell I see many greedy Indian, Coloured and Black capitalist not only greedy White capitalist. When it’s comes to money you are all greedy capitalist in my eyes regardless of your race. Juju, Marxism is about class struggle and not about racial struggle. I postulated that there would be a conflict between a class which control production which I called the ownership class and a lower class which provides the labour for this production process. Juju when I look at your South African society I see White, Black, Indian and Coloured laborers working for greedy, capitalist White, Black, Indian and Coloured bosses. When I said society should be governed by the working class, I did not refer to any particular race, because I knew that the working class comprises of all racial groups Juju! So that I can correctly place you Juju in either ownership class or lower class, answer me this Juju: Are you a labourer who works for next to nothing? Do you or don’t you own a mansion in Sandton? Are the Hawks investigating you for corruption, fraud and money laundering or not? Are you a rich man or a poor man? Juju, you said, you’ll kill for Zuma. Don’t you know that murder is a criminal offence? You sang the ‘shoot the boer song,’ after a peaceful transition into a constitutional democracy! You called Indians(your fellow fighters against Apartheid) ‘Coolies,’ at a rally, you called Lindiwe Mazibuku, ‘a tea girl working for the madam,’ you even said that one day you’ll lead the ANC! You need a tip. I want to really give you a tip, a tip from a gypsy in fact: Bob Marley(what a revolutionary) said, ‘A tip from a gypsy, she man, you getting tipsy, hiding from reality in your world of hypocrisy.’ Take this tip from this gypsy. I think you put it this way: "Let us make it clear now: we are prepared to die for Zuma. Not only that, we are prepared to take up arms and kill for Zuma."
6. Now, Juju, I could well lecture you on every single thing I wrote, but I doubt that you’d understand what I’m saying Juju. I think that you may have heard from one of your friends about the ‘Communist Manifesto and Das capital,’ I wrote these remarkable works Juju!
7. I generally don’t like greedy capitalist. Now even here in hell we have our grapevine Juju. Rumor has it that you have a mansion in Sandton. I believe that you currently been investigated for ‘tenderpreneurship,’ Juju, that is so not communist like behavior Juju!! I’m not entirely sure if you aware that I died a stateless and poor man in 1883. I had no mansion Juju, I had no shares in government contracts!
8. Juju as the revolutionary???” Now, even from hell, I am disturbed that you call yourself a revolutionary! What revolution did you take part in? Did you play a key role in the French revolution or the Russian revolution? In your failed attempt to be a bona fide revolutionary in one of your public statements you said that the youth of South Africa, under your leadership, will never let Britain invade South Africa! Oh really Juju!!!!
9. Lindiwe Mazibuko is a graduate of The prestigious University of Cape Town, she actually wrote a thesis(Wow), So I as Karl Marx and Lindiwe Mazibuko actually have something in common, we both university graduates and we both wrote a thesis. We both have constructive debate in common, we both able to avoid a proliferation of the collateral issues, identify the issues in dispute and offer sound solutions to the issues in dispute! And what do you go and do Juju, you go and call this educated highly regarded lady, ‘The madam’s tea girl!” You refused to take part in televised debate with this tenacious and vociferous lady because she is "tea girl!" You should consider yourself privileged if Miss Mazibuko ever gives you the privilege of making her tea! You Juju in stark contrast obtained your highest mark in high school as a “C” for second language English and your lowest marks were published as an “H” (sub 33%) in maths and a “G” (sub 40%) in woodwork, all in the standard grade.
10.” Juju, don’t stay out a late with the badda boys, always shoota pool, Juju goin-ta flunka the school, What'sa matter you, hey, gotta no respectWhatta you tink you do, why you looka so sad
Its a not so bad, Itsa nice-a place, Ahh shaddupa you face.” Look Juju, at the end of the day, ‘you got a c for English, you a real bofin, but you put da bloody nail in your own damn coffin!”
11.” If you want to be a greedy capitalist Juju, then I have a suggestion for you! Approach Leon Schuster in a humble manner and make this proposition to him, in return for payment of a few million bucs, you’ll re-enact the actual musical video which Afred starred in as you, you’ll do it with good humour i.e. all the dance moves and all the lyrics, sounds like a plan to me!”
To recap” “I got a c for English, I’m a real bofin BUT I put the bloody nail in my own damn coffin! But my teacher say, ‘Shup up, hou jou beck, because you only got the F for woodwork!”
Hey Makalema, what a big dilemma , hey Makalema, hi kona wena, dis lekker in Suid Afrika, cause Toronto is too bloody far! I’m good, I’m good, I’m good and you know that I’m good, I’m not just very good when I’m working with the wood!
I’m good, I’m good, I’m good and that’s the honest truth, to hell with bloody woodwork, I’m the leader of the youth, Yes!
Hey Makalema, what a big dilemma , hey Makalema, hi kona wena, dis lekker in Suid Afrika, cause Sydney is too bloody far! Driving in his wooden car, he wouldn’t get very far, but dis lekker in Suid Afrika, cause Toronto is too very far.”
12.” You have a top ten list for all the wrong reasons:”
1. “Where are the white South Africans to welcome Caster? If it was rugby, they would be here.”
2. “Helen Zille is a political toddler”.
3. “The floods were a natural disaster. Let’s not blame natural disasters on anyone,”
4. “We want a future where people compete about how many degrees one has; that is why this week we are going to give Shilowa’s son the bursary.”
5. “I only debate with serious political youth formations, not a group of the racist Helen Zille’s garden boys.”
6. “We’ve got a minister who’s spending too much time using an American accent without assisting our people. Let the minister use that fake accent to address our problems and not behave like a spoilt minister.”
7. “When a woman didn’t enjoy it, she leaves early in the morning. Those who had a nice time will wait until the sun comes out, request breakfast and ask for taxi money. In the morning, that lady requested breakfast and taxi money. You can’t ask for money from somebody who raped you.”
8. “We are the elite that has been deliberately produced by the ANC as part of its policy to close the gap between blacks and whites in this country. It was the ANC that made it possible that, as part of that elite, some of us are now able to live in the suburbs,”
9. “It is a fact that Mbhazima Shilowa is an irresponsible parent and his profession is that of security guard”
10. “We are prepared to die for Zuma. We are prepared to take up arms and kill for Zuma.”
Karl Marl giving Juju some mathematical tips
“Juju son, I see that you obtained 12 marks for mathematics on standard grade!!! Well, now then, I wrote a 160 mathematical manuscript in 1881!!! I'm actually going to do you a favour! I'm going to direct you to read the mathematical manuscript that I wrote in 1881. Please study it carefully now!!!
I think you lads of today have a word for it, ‘viral,’, your matric report went viral, it’s on every continent on this planet in cyber space, even here in hell, Lenin and company are having a laugh at it!
I think you Juju said, ‘Smile for the Madam,’
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