Contact us funnies

[Dave A]

hi i would like to fax or email my unemployment form with my id . and my banking details. i want my uif money cause i am not working anymore. pls can u reply i am using my friends pc. and she is at work

Too busy to wait in a line to collect unemployment benefits?

[Dave A]

I've been getting marketing and sales people who claim that they got my ID NO and cell no from this database, WHO GAVE YOU THESE DETAILS AND PERMISSION TO SELL OR GIVE TO PUBLIC MY INFORMATION ????

You have been misinformed.

And the CAPS LOCK key is on the left of the keyboard.

[tec0]

How about this one:

Bla bla bla bla, if you do not pay in an amount of R3000 immediately you will be blacklisted please find the bank details below you have 24 hours to comply

First of I don't know who this person is or what I did but how is that for intimidation. I e-mailed him back.

Please note that you may have the wrong contact details and Person. However I took the liberty to print your e-mail out and handed it over to the SAP for investigation.

Kind Regards

[Dave A]

Please can I have an application form to apply for the jobs in the Metro paper

Thanks
Beverley

my reply:

I have no idea what you are referring to. Are you looking at the right website?

response:

Is this not the Durban electricity dept ?
There are vacancies for elect.durban.gov in the paper

So I recheck the initial contact form. The referring page was this thread.

[nessa]

Future SAA pilot I feel "airsick" already.

[Dave A]

I get this one:

i just would like to know what happens to your shares when you resign from woolworths

So I reply: I have no idea. Maybe if you ask on the forum someone might know.

This is what comes back:

Do you mabey have a number that i can call?

What's the number for directory enquiries again?

Aah. Got it - 1023

[Dave A]

The next step would be?

I get this message:

You promise to send the message to my email address, I haven't receive it yet.

That would be the confirmation email he/she is looking for.

The problem is I've got this failed email delivery message for the email that was, indeed, sent as promised:

This message was created automatically by mail delivery software.

A message that you sent could not be delivered to one or more of its recipients. This is a permanent error. The following address(es) failed:

sno[at]student.up.ac.za
(ultimately generated from sno[at]tuks.co.za)
LMTP error after RCPT TO:<sno[at]student.up.ac.za>:
552 5.2.2 Over quota

Your mail box is full, boet/sister - but how the heck am I supposed to tell you that?
Obviously not an IT student.

(I've edited the actual email address involved so as not to compound the problem )

[Dave A]

A classic

I get this message:

Registration problem

I reply:

I'm going to need some details. What is going wrong? What error messages are you getting?

And get this back:

Something about "spammers" not being able to register.

God bless

So I ask - Have you been banned on any forums for spam recently?

There's been no reply...

[Dave A]

From an abitrary gmail account...

i need person and email of persons in charge

You first, please.
So just who would you be, sir (or madam)?

[Martinco]

Well.................at least keeps the day interesting !

[Dave A]

And then you get messages that remind me why this is worth it

Baie dankie vir die groot hulp wat ek kon gebruik anders was ek verplig om SARS te bel en dit is nie altyd die oplossing nie.

Baie dankie,nou voel ek glad nie meer so dom nie!

[basati]

I like number 3 lol

[Dave A]

It's been a while since I've been inspired to share a Contact Us message. This one certainly got my imagination fired up:

Good Day

Jane xxx ID: 0000000000000 attended Situational Leadership offered through your Company. Could you please advise whether certificates were issued?

Regards

Ingrid

Sounds like someone got creative with their CV.

But thinking about it, if you're a regular on TFSA you might well get some "situational leadership" experience
Maybe we do need to introduce a certificate...

[pieterp89]

Some of these are hilarious. Shows you there is a big market for helping people understand the internet better