I see the main change wouldbe removing all the not's.

We should not be listing what not to do.
We should be listing what should be done.

For example, the draft has
My responsibility in ensuring the right to freedom and security of the person
The right is upheld by my taking responsibility for:
  • not hurting, bullying, or intimidating others, or allowing others to do so, and
  • solving any conflict in a peaceful manner.
The "not hurting, bullying or intimidating others" should be changed from a behaviour that is discouraged to a behaviour that is encouraged, such as
  • treating others with care and respect as I would have them treat me

There probably is a better phrase, but the point is that the negative should be flipped to positive wherever possible. Just one of those psychological reinforcement things.