positive or negative

**daveob** · 21-Sep-11, 08:35 AM

am going to miss the old murdock - enjoyed the 'alternate view' threads and posts - RIP.

For your new path, this quote comes to mind :

grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can, and
the wisdom to know the difference.

or as a friend once put it : Don't sweat the small stuff.

**Justloadit** · 21-Sep-11, 12:38 PM

Another way of thinking, using a metaphor, plough around the old oak tree stump, as opposed to trying to remove the tree stump and not planting your seed.

**Newretailer** · 21-Sep-11, 04:37 PM

You have air to breath, food to eat, a bed to sleep on, water to drink. Everything you need to be happy and positive

Seriously, when I find myself getting negative, I just notice everything that is right this instant directly around me. As long as I can wake up in the morning, have a cup of coffee, enjoy some sunshine, I couldn't give two hoots about the one-who-wants-to-kill-the-boer.

**AndyD** · 21-Sep-11, 05:11 PM

Originally posted by Newretailer

You have air to breath, food to eat, a bed to sleep on, water to drink. Everything you need to be happy and positive

Seriously, when I find myself getting negative, I just notice everything that is right this instant directly around me. As long as I can wake up in the morning, have a cup of coffee, enjoy some sunshine, I couldn't give two hoots about the one-who-wants-to-kill-the-boer.

Is you positive attitude down to your mental state or is it chemical/hormonal? If it's a mental state then everyone should be able to achieve it but if it's chemical/hormonal then maybe you're just lucky to be of that particular make up.

**Newretailer** · 21-Sep-11, 05:36 PM

I doubt that it is chemical/hormonal, especially judged by the rest of my family members. It is really just an awareness of what one needs to make you happy (very little) and having certain insights as you go along.

Years ago when I first thought of going into business, I mentally went through all the things in my mind that could go wrong and whether I would be able to survive it. Could I survive losing my business? Yes. Could I survive losing my car? Yes. Could I survive losing my house? Yes. I finally ended up with could I survive being homeless and I must admit, the prospect was quite a good one! No bills to pay, no SARS, no banks, etc. etc. It was a very freeing little exercise.

I don't think I am special in any way with my attitude. It is just a matter of realising that whether you sit on the pavement or on a fancy chair, you are still sitting.

**AmithS** · 21-Sep-11, 06:29 PM

Hey murdock,

Good for you man, I always say and always believe that anyone can do anything if they put their mind to it!

As difficult as it is to keep a positive body and mind especially when one is in or has just came out of a difficult path, you will most importantly need to stay determined and focused on achieving your new goal...

Find a reason for your new goal (which I think from your post you already have) and keep that in mind when the path becomes rocky...

Hope this helps, all the best

**mother** · 21-Sep-11, 10:54 PM

Murdock, that is fabulous news! This is going to be exciting!

And on this topic of a positive attitude, I really want to share some advice: Start each day with a banana or two. And no, I'm not trying to be sarcastic (given your choice of avatar), it's scientifically sound advice. Bananas are rich in tryptophan, and amino acid which your body uses to make serotonin. And so, you become happier, for no apparent reason, which obviously generates a positive attitude in itself. You can even add nuts and avocado, but psychologists agree that bananas are the number 1 happy-food, and even suggest bananas (along with the usual drugs) to people suffering from depression. It also helps you sleep better.

**murdock** · 22-Sep-11, 07:24 AM

thanks for the encouragement and all the tips...i agree the fact that it is all in the mind...one of the reasons i metioned that i am not looking for a diet or list of good foods...but ways to motivate my mind to make the changes...i have have given up smoking 3 times and havent touch one for over 10 years...so where there is will (there is always a relative) there is always a way...3 years ago i set my mind to loose weight within a month had lost 10 kg and a further 3 months i had lost almost another 10kg...i didnt reach my goal of 24 kg ( so i didnt get to go sky diving) but i do believe this time round i will reach my target weight of 96 kg...

i do believe that as i loose weight and eat healthy again so my mind move into a positive mode...

first obsticle...time there is never time to do anything.

solution i get up 45 minutes earlier every day to make lunch for both my wife and i....all the salads and fruit picked out the garden in the morning...including...lettuce tomatoes...strawberries and paw paw...

next step....get up and half an hour earlier to start walking again...will start off with a 2- 5 km walk then as i spped up will increase the pace and try get back to an 8 km walk in the mornings.

this will stil lgive me enough time to dress my daughter for school...pack her bag and load her into her car seat and wave goodbye....

and spend a hour surfing the net...while i have my breakfast...

by 7 am i have showered dressed and i am ready for work...one of the perks of working from home.

i have decidede to link a small pump to my tanks so that the water from the gutters will supply an irrigation system to the veggie garden and toilets...i heard you can get a solar pump to achieve this...without wasting electricity.

by the way work has picked up beyond my control...i am working flat out to try keep up with the work load...so its all good and only gona get better

finances

i need to figue out a way to stop speeding money...this is one this i have not been able to achieve to date...a way to say no when i see something i want.

basically manage my finaces properly...when i make lots of money i spend lots of money because of the way i think...the more i spend the less i pay tax...dont tell i know dumb ass way of thinking...but true...so another goal to try achieve...stop wasting money on things i dont really need...my father in law once said to me many years ago...if you have a tax problem...it means you making good money..."pay your taxes"...its easier than getting into debt to try ease it...i have always remebered it but never put it to practise...he has become a very weathly man...and like he said to me one day...i only make a 5 % "profit" but of 5 million rand a month thats not bad...dont be greedy rather pateint....i use to buy a new car on hp every 3 -5 years...he drove the same car for 10 years and paid cash for it....but any way i am rambling time to go to work.

**Newretailer** · 22-Sep-11, 07:56 AM

It sounds like you are off to a wonderful start. I admire your honesty and courage. Most people will deny that they have a negative attitude

**twinscythe12332** · 22-Sep-11, 04:52 PM

"Don't run in the rat race, walk along at your own pace" best advice I could give you.
I also suffer from that compulsive "I don't really need this, but it's awesome" mentality. It's probably why I have 5 decent spec computers in my house =P
I found that when I was struggling to curb my spending, I gave my card to my wife (many of you will be saying "ooooh, brave" but that's what trust is about).
I'm back to keeping the card on me, and my spending urges are a bit more under control.

**mother** · 22-Sep-11, 05:24 PM

Murdock, you confuse me???

First you say:

Originally posted by murdock

weight loss and healthy eating ideas...i mean ways to program your mind to focus and stay focused.

then you say:

one of the reasons i metioned that i am not looking for a diet or list of good foods

Of course will power is the first prerequisite for any attempt at changing, but why not support this will power by ensuring your chemical composition is optimal for achieving your goal?

**murdock** · 22-Sep-11, 09:20 PM

mother what i am trying to get at is...i have all the eating plans...like high protein diets...this diet that diet...i even have a weigh less program with all the food groups etc etc....the problem is commiting to them and sticking to them...its too easy to stop off at the local pie shop and buy a or 2 or 3 and they are easy to eat while driving.

what i am looking for are ideas to help motivate myself to actually eating healthy...like a goal or a picture of my fat ass body on my mirror in ny bathroom...that kind of thing...idaes that work or should i say have worked for other people.

what i have been doing as i mentioned is getting up a little earlier in the morning and making lunch...plus the last 2 days i stop during the day sit down and eat...well stand but stop working or doing what ever i am doing...baby steps...i will evenetually get there.

**mother** · 22-Sep-11, 10:13 PM

Okay, I see what you're saying. Then I have the perfect suggestion for you:

Start courting your wife again. Plan romantic evenings, especially dates where you have to dress up and go out. And have lots of sex. These activities will have a drastic effect on the chemicals in your mind & body, causing you to focus on making yourself desirable. It's very primal and very effective. It also keeps your mind occupied with planning for and looking forward to those evenings, thus eliminating boredom, which is often a major reason for over-eating. And of course there is no better whole-body-cardio workout like sex!

Plus: eat lots of bananas! Bananas make you happy!

**Blurock** · 23-Sep-11, 12:50 AM

Good for you Murdock! You have my support.

Its easy to find something scathing and hurtful to say - not so easy to praise.

Here's my challenge for the forum members; Greet a street sweeper or refuse collector today and thank him/her for cleaning your town or city. You may also give him a small gift or a tip. Watch the reaction! Is it not great to make someone happy?

Lets not just be positive, but also be positive towards other people.

positive or negative

positive or negative

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