what will happpen if you don't marry?

[robinsonwang]

Marriiage once has been treated as the most important thing in our life. Now I am 26 and I have been asking to get married for many times. Those who asked me to get married are not someone as my parents or relatives, they are just the common friends to me. Why they want their fellow friends get married, something good to them?

I don't know whether you have the same problem as me, but I would say I am still in the bad-asking-situation. How to solve this kind of problem. can you give me some advice?

[tec0]

Don’t get married just because people tell you too. If you find the right person and all that and it is a question of something you want to do, then and only then is the time right.

[AndyD]

Marriages used to be for obvious reasons, the man was the breadwinner and the woman was the homemaker, it was difficult for one to succeed without the other. It was a symbiotic relationship where women and men had clearly defined roles. Kinda like that Sesame Street sketch where one monster is short and can't reach the fruit in the tree, the second monster has long arms but no elbows so he can reach the fruit but can't get it in his mouth. Individually they go hungry but together they can eat if they cooperate.

Nowadays it's not so clear-cut. I blame it on the advent of the tampon....amongst other things.

[Dave A]

Tricky one to "give advice." Marriage implies different things in different cultures. The mates might be making idle conversation. Maybe they're saying you're successful enough to support a wife. Maybe they're hinting you need some stability in your life. Maybe it's a girl's hint that they like you.

About the only thing I can say with confidence is peer pressure is certainly not a good reason to get married. But sometimes even those marriages work out anyway.

[Sparks]

I was married, it was the best time of my life. I will never regret it. In fact after 18 years of being a widower I still miss and love my wife. I will never marry again because it would be unfair to the the lady who would accept me and secondly I do believe that I had the best. I am too full of it to accept second best now. There is no way I will ever find someone like her so I do not bother looking. If you finally find someone who you can feel the same about do not hesitate to marry her but, for the most part hold out and wait for her to come across your path.

[KimH]

Robinson, I will give you the same checklist I have given my 25 year old son.

- Can you see yourself growing old with this person,
- Do you have similiar interests,
- Can you enjoy extended periods of silence without feeling the need to break the silence,
- Are you willing to compromise on certain issues...

There are so many other factors to take into consideration - I have personally found that the above are certainly important to the longevity of a happy marriage.
My husband and I have been together for 26 years, and I still feel that little flutter in my chest every evening when I get home from work

Only you will know if the person is right for you and as Dave says peer pressure is not a good reason to get married.

Sparks - I agree wholeheartedly.

Andy D - LOL @ your tampon comment

[AndyD]

I think there's a strong argument for arranged marriages. The parents could be in a better position to pick a partner, they're less likely to be swayed by the minor distractions and concentrate more on the core issues.

[Dave A]

That tampon comment certainly flipped this thread into pretty deep territory.

I think there's a strong argument for arranged marriages. The parents could be in a better position to pick a partner, they're less likely to be swayed by the minor distractions and concentrate more on the core issues.

Is that really why most arranged marriages appear to endure the test of time? I'm inclined to give the greater credit to the structured society within which they occur rather than the astuteness of the contracting parties.

Which gives rise to this thought: Just because it works doesn't automatically mean it is the best solution. And perhaps not even a good solution?

again.

[robinsonwang]

Fortunately, I don't have to face the arranged marriage, but sometimes i really dreamed to have a arranged marrige for me . I really want to feel the family's focusing on you and they are trying to do good to you. But all my owned family just brought me a lot of mess and no good, I ask myself why should I set up a family.
There must be a reason when you do one thing and there must be one attract you. If there is your lover existed, you want to build a family with her/him;if there once you enjoyed your parents' love ,you want to follow them;If you want to have a baby and want to baby have stable family, you will do that.
Am I too ambitious now?
Isn't there a reason for marrige?

[wynn]

See this thread on the daily beast and search not getting married there and on the huffington post

http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2010-01-17/why-were-not-getting-married/

good luck

[adrianh]

Given that a woman's place is in the bedroom and in the kitchen, marriage is a very bad idea. If you don't get married you can have a different woman in the kitchen & bedroom (every day) Jacob Zuma has the right idea, there should always be a woman available that doesn't have a headache, is in a foul mood or just downright bitchy! Another idea is to marry many women for different purposes (maybe thats what JZ did) 1 for the kitchen, 1 to wash the cars and look after the garden, 2 for the bedroom (ok we'll include a spare in case of headache 3) & 1 for general tasks like buying beer, fetching pizza, finding the remote control, washing the clothes & dishes, picking up clothes, driving when the man is too drunk. They should all be fitted with volume controls and have a ultra hot, very hot, hot & off selector switch.

[tec0]

adrianh > Well actually we pay for the carwashes, the cars the pizza that will probably be delivered under armed guard. We pay for the staff that does the dishes and housework we pay for the gardeners for all 5 first ladies. And we pay for their companies; establishment’s vacations and the list go on and on. No wonder we must pay tax on our winnings at the local casino. Wife number 6 is probably on the way with a list of brand new demands. Perhaps we must introduce a law defining how many first ladies a country can have. And get better tax returns?

[Dave A]

When it comes to JZ and his wives, there's two things I've wondered about:

Are the wives allowed to be as promiscuous as he is?

and

If one of those wives married a second husband, would hubby 2 and JZ be husbands-in-law?

[adrianh]

If one of those wives married a second husband, would hubby 2 and JZ be husbands-in-law?

Good one!

[wynn]

If one of those wives married a second husband, would hubby 2 and JZ be husbands-in-law?

Or bitter rivals or enemies?