Why today is going to be a great day!

[Marq]

President Robert Magabe stepped down this morning and allowed Morgan Tsvangirai to take up the post of President of Zimbabwe.

In a tearful apologetic address to his nation he vowed to return the billions he stole over the years to the finance department for new injection into the country.

It is further reported that he has handed himself over to Interpol's President Mr Jackie Selebi who it is said will accompany Magabe to the Hague where they both hope to get lenient treatment for crimes against humanity.

This is very doubtful said a spokesperson for the World who apparently is scouting around for a special cell to house them in Siberia. Mr Mugabe is being fed a special medication developed in Switzerland that will ensure his longevity in order for him to fully experience the same situations that he invoked upon the people of Zimbabwe.

[Graeme]

In a surprise move today Minister Balfour announced that for the future the S A Prison Service would outsource the keeping of prisoners to North Korea. "It's better that way as it will cost us only $10 per day per prisoner and they will be really fit when they return home", he said.

[Candy Bouwer]

Surprising all in a dramatic sweeping statement, the recently appointed Minister of Healthy and Education Candy Bouwer, after presenting her bill to Parliament announced to the media on the Parliament steps. "That in her position she would ensure that education and health issues would be dealt with timorously and to present and press the necessary bills that will ensure Free Education and Free Health medical aid benefits to all"!!.

[Chris Bouwer]

A seemingly abandoned safe was found in a store room and when opened it was discovered that it contained millions of Rands, made from all the add-ons to the petrol price over many years (road fund, third party fund, war fund, widows and orphans fund etc.)
As all these funds are now adequately funded by Lotto, it was decided to plough this surplus back to help motorists.
As from Monday 20/11/2006 petrol will cost 10 Cents a litre and no increase in price is foreseen in the next 15 to 20 years!

[Candy Bouwer]

Talk about bankrupting a county fast!!! but it's fun to have these wish lists...don'tcha think????