Child Maintenance Advice Needed

[Anonymous]

Good morning

Please may I ask for some urgent advice.

I have a son with a woman which I was not married to.

There have been many disputes regarding numerous issues.

One of them being the maintenance...
I have been paying maintenance for 2 years now, in the beginning, I was summonsed to court and was given the option to either settle such in court or to settle such with the mother.

We decided to settle such out of court and had to pay "X" amount for maintenance.

I signed the forms stating that "X" amount had to be paid to her monthly and on the "Consent and Maintenance order" it was stated that "No other contributions are applicable".

The mother still from a few years ago has not yet sent me the signed and filed copy which she was supposed to hand in at the court.

(Just to say, we have about 20 hours away from one another in different provinces)

The maintenance was then increased at the beginning of this year by around 45% which I happily agreed to, but have not received the updated forms to sign or previous forms.

She now wants me to pay for/or contribute (basically saying I have no option) for a party for my son, but I am financially struggling, trying to keep up with living expenses and the maintenance I am paying for my son.

My questions I have are the following :

- Do I even need to pay maintenance due to the fact that I have no signed and approved documents from the court that she was supposed to hand in/or have to pay the new amount also due to the fact that I have not signed any documents stating that I will pay the new amount?

- Am I liable to contribute or pay for his party?

I would really appreciate assistance and advice regarding such.

Thank you very much

[HR Solutions]

Personally - my humble opinion is - yes - he is your son.

[sterne.law@gmail.com]

Maintenance is an obligation, a court paper merely records the specifics.
Of course if there is no court order, then the non payment cant lead to any action.
Maintenance is calculated in terms of the needs of the applicant and the means of the payer. That is - what doe steh child need monthly. Then o fteh parties who can afford to contribute what

[pmbguy]

It’s Your child so pay for the party you cheap shmuck

[Leonp]

accepting a 45% increase was irresponsible if it pushed you beyond your means. you don't seem involved with the child, so i guess you can just not answer the phone. i would have thought you'd want to do the party instead of the 45% rather.

[Anonymous]

When you only have R400.00 to your name at the end of every month PMBGUY, its hard when she is demanding R1500 for a party, its also very easy to judge when you do not know the entire situation...

So am I liable to pay this?

[Anonymous]

I do not see him often but am as involved as much as she lets me be, I love my son and this is why I try do everything I can for him...

[HR Solutions]

I do not see him often but am as involved as much as she lets me be, I love my son and this is why I try do everything I can for him...

No you are not doing everything ............. I would suggest getting out there, look for a better paying job and earn enough to pay for your responsibilities !

[IanF]

Anonymous you are in a horrible situation. I don't have any advice except look at this website http://www.f4j.co.za/wabout.php I think that they will be able to help.

[Anonymous]

Thanks Ian

[pmbguy]

I get it. You have very little bucks and now you have to spend 1500 on a party of all things –this sux for you I hear you. But it’s your kid we talking about.

Knowing how expensive parties are, I am sure the mom is paying just as much, probably more.

You could also see if there are ways to spend the party money wisely so perhaps you will spend less than 1500.

If you were eating only pap and sous everyday then you don't need to pay, But I am confident you are not dirt poor and I know you have a job.

Just be a man and do the right thing – I know you can come up with the money if you really tried.