[Question] HELP!!!!! Got some questions on school project!:)

[kashmir]

Here's the scenario, it's for a school project and i really need help

Scenario: i currently have a buisness producing 500 articles to be sold locally in SA. i have received an order, and need to now produce 2500 articles to sell in Slovenia. I need to expand my buisness, and employ more workers.

I have applied for a loan of R200,000 from the bank, and i need to write a letter to my bank manager explaining:

Why i should accept the order from slovenia
How the order will benefit my workers
How the order will benefit the south african economy
Why the loan should be accepted.

NB: this is not my real situation, just a school project.

I need to write a letter of 2 pages, following the above criteria. Here's what i've got so far:







Why I should accept the order from Slovenia:

My buisness should accept the order from Slovenia for a variety of reasons. The order from Slovenia will provide stability for both my buisness and it's workers. It will also give my buisness an international profile, wich will eventually lead to many more orders from other international clients. It also provides my buisness the opportunity to expand, and reduces risk. As i employ more workers, the load will be spread evenly amongst them. I will also employ a factory manager, which will also help me expand.


Benefit of the order for workers:

With a stable source of income from Slovenia, my buisness will be able to give it's workers bonuses and extra advantages like further education for the worker, and training courses, providing the profit margin highers. I will also be employing more workers, so that the load is spread amongst them, and my buisness is not very dependent on one single worker, and it will also free the workers up, and give them more time. With the order from Slovenia, the workers will have a very stable and predictable income.

[adrianh]

Why i should accept the order from slovenia
1. the order will provide my business with 5 x more work than I currently have.
2. the business will expand.
3. the business will enter into the international market.
4. the business will earn foreign income.

How the order will benefit my workers
1. The order will provide my workers with stable work for longer than we can currently guarantee.
2. I may have to employ more workers.
3. i may have to pay workers overtime to complete the work.

How the order will benefit the south african economy
1. Workers will have stable employment for a longer time.
2. More workers may be employed
3. Workers may earn more money due to overtime.
4. Foreign money enters our economy.
5. The government earns revenue due to my business paying more company tax, export tax and the workers will spend more which in turn will keeps the wheels of business rolling.

Why the loan should be accepted.
1. I have a sound business that already sells 500 units into the locol economy.
2. I have a firm order for 2500 units.
3. The loan will be repayed timeously.
4. The loan will enable the business to expand.
5. Huge profits will be generated for the business shareholders & staff.

...
..
..
ABSA Bank manager - Are you crazy - we don't do loans here, you must have collateral - is your house worth R2million, your car R500,000 and will you sign over your soul to us...We'll come back to you in three months time if we remember...

[Dave A]

NB: this is not my real situation, just a school project.

You're not kidding. Those requirements are so removed from the real world it sounds like an excercise in creative writing.

The bank is interested in two things, and two things only - your ability to pay them back, with interest - and who they can sue if you don't.

The bank does not care a flying fig about your workers or how it will contribute to the South African economy.

My letter would be something along the lines of:

Dear Zongo,

Re: Extension of overdraft facility on account 123 456 789

Attached please find the completed credit application form, schedule of personal assets and liabilities of sureties, last audited financial statements and my cashflow forecast on the Slovenia order as requested.

I look forward to your favorable response.

My best regards

[wynn]

Guys! this is a school project and has no basis in reality, please help the guy do the type of letter they require?

You know like K53 as taught to learner drivers has no real place on the actual roads (too slow, not concentrating on the traffic in front while doing all your checks) but you need to know it to pass the driving test.

[Dave A]

How did I get so cynical?

I quite liked Adrian's post, though I only realised there were two threads on the subject and read his after I'd made my post. I ended up merging the two threads, but between the two of us... yeah, it did get a bit heavy.

[kashmir]

YEYE! Shot guys, thanks a LOT adrian :>

[mother]

Kashmir, I see you tagged tis thread EMS. Therefore (I hope) you will not be judged only on your English writing skills, but also on your understanding of the subject matter. Now economics, by definition, has to do with numbers, so I will be surprised if a letter without some reference to numbers scores decent marks. So I would suggest that you quote some concrete figures to validate the statements you make. For example, don't just say margins will increase... be specific and say "gross margin will increase from xx% to yy%". So basically, I believe you still have a lot of work to do regarding the content of your letter. Adrian has given an excellent framework to start from, but you still need to add flesh to that skeleton.

Also look at HOW adrian wrote the letter. He numbered the points under specific headings. That is far better than writing paragraphs, and especially since you are LISTING reasons/benefits. A comprehensive list in bullet/number format, shows sound & logical reasoning.

Good luck!