Inevitably everyone will experience the Telkom blues; it normally starts with a voice stating that if you don’t pay them you will be blacklisted. Then you rip out your Telkom slips check the dates and YES you are up to date with your payments!

You pick up the receiver to phone Telkom only to find that there is no dial tone... Your line has been disconnected. From this stage you log on to the Telkom Site only to find that you cannot report a fault because you are entering and incorrect “Service Number” and it doesn’t really matter from this point forward because any number entered in that section is invalid “or so is my experience”

Next step is to load your mobile phone with R200 worth of airtime and then you phone Telkom and you are placed on hold indefinitely. Once your R200 runs out you get into your car and drive up to the local Telkom building. Now this bothers me as the people working at the Telkom building cannot log a fault on your behalf.

No... You must use an SMS and yes you pay for the SMS... the number in our aria is: 0123210212. You get an SMS asking what kind of fault is it you enter a number and there you go... BUT no...

24 Hours later you are still without service, and sadly you can’t fix it yourself because the problem is with Telkom and not your physical line and or phone. So now I have to ask; what can we as customers do to make Telkom’s life a living hell. After all we get to pay penalties, reconnection charges and our names get blacklisted but when they are at fault you don’t get credited or anything like that. So what CAN we do...?

Now I do own a nice chainsaw and there Telkom pole is on MY property...

Very tempting...