Yesterday my internet speed goes downhill and I struggled the whole day to do anything.

This morning - no different, so have just phoned the Telkom Business line and I asked what is going on.

Nothing wrong on our side says the operator.."have you done a speed test"? she says...."che"? says I.

"Yes just go to telkom/adsl... and push the 'speed test' button". So I do this and inform her that their site says content unavailable - not dropping a beat she says,

"ok go here". So I go there and it says my speed is 39kbps - "Ah"!! she says, "nothing wrong on our side - if it was below 32kbps - it would be a line problem - check your system out".

"What?" says I - You should be delivering at 384kbps minimum. "Eish - NO you have it wrong", she says - "its 384 bits p/s". "oh!!!" says I confused. "Yes - you have your bits and bytes wrong". "mmmm....Ok", says I stupidly, and put the phone down.

Straight away I notice that my system is back to its normal speed. At the same time I get my notification that only have 400 megs left and need to add a few gigs to the pile before that runs dry. "Strange", I thinks, "I only filled up the other day and thats gone fast". On checking - yesterday in superslow mode while doing very little work - 1 gig was used.

So I thinks to myself......."myself - you have been conned by telkom employees - they were sucking your line dry and your speed, and only fixed it because I phoned to ask what was going on". "They gave you BS about the speed because they thought you were a mampara". And this time round I must admit ...they may be right....I was caught off guard, not thinking that I would be sucked in here.

And I went back to do the 'speed button' test.....and hey presto - my speed is now 160kbps.......not the greatest in the world but after yesterday its like a dog after a piece of boerewors in a tight enclosure, when you have been making 10 cups of coffee in-between screen changes.

Denial BS and fix it quickly without letting them know whats really going on - this is not the first time I have had this thought when it comes to technical goodies in my life.

Am I paranoid or do you think I should join the David Icke gang?