Telkom technical joke?

[Dave A]

I'm such a fool.

My ADSL went down this morning at about 8.30a.m. OK. It's happened before.

Reboot POTS router - no go.

Try again a half hour later - still no go.

Call special ADSL technical help number, the one for priority service I pay extra for :

ME: My ADSL is down.
TECH: Yes sir. Most of the country is down right now. We are working on the problem.
ME: When do you expect to have the problem fixed?
TECH: Don't know yet. Our systems are down too!
ME: You guys must be hectic with calls.
TECH: Yes. Don't worry - we're working on it.

So I get on with work quietly thinking the country must be going a little crazy right now, but at least we're all in the same boat.

Comes about midday and still no ADSL - so I call a good buddy who has an online business to commiserate.

ME: Apparently ADSL is down over most of the country.
BUDD: Sh*t. (He immediately grasps the gravity of the situation). Let me check...... Nope. No problems my side, but my ISP is not Telkomsa. Maybe it's Telkom ISP that is down across the country.

Comes 3.00p.m. I call my special ADSL technical number - the one for priority service that I pay extra for:

ME: Hi, I called this morning because my ADSL is down. Still not sorted.
TECH: Yes sir, I've just come on duty and there's a note here saying there's a major problem.
ME: Is it ADSL services or Telkom ISP?
TECH: It's our entire system.
ME: Well a bud of mine is having no problem, but his ISP is not Telkom.
TECH: Well it must be Telkom ISP then sir.
ME: When will it be fixed?
TECH: Don't know sir, but I'll find out and email you - what's your email address.
ME: Sure, but please tell me how to download the email when my ADSL is down!!!
TECH: Hmmm. A problem... *Silence*
ME: How about if you phoned me?
TECH: *Surprised* Yes, that could work!
I give cell number and hope for the best.

Comes 4.45p.m. No ADSL and no phonecall. I call my special ADSL technical number - the one for priority service that I pay extra for:

ME: Hi, my ADSL is down. I called at 9.00a.m and at 3.00p.m. and was told there is a major countrywide problem. How's it going.
TECH: There's no problem sir.
ME: What! You guys told me there's a major system problem.
TECH: Well, our internal systems are down, but that shouldn't affect you. There must be a problem on your line.
ME: Well, it does affect me. We could have started on the real problem at 9.00 a.m. this morning....
TECH: Hold on sir, let me check on something... *Click*
TELKOM CALL CENTRE SYSTEM: For new sales press 1, for progress report on a new installation press 2, for ADSL connection problems press 3.. *I press 3*
SUPPORT: Yes sir, can I help you.
ME: My ADSL is down, apparently you have a major countrywide problem...
SUPPORT: No sir. Everything is normal.
ME: But I've just been put through from technical support - they've been telling me there's a major system wide problem all day...
SUPPORT: Are you anywhere near Westville sir?
ME: No.
SUPPORT: Well sir, what is your ADSL line number?
*Give number*
SUPPORT: I've tested the line and there is no sync - seems like a problem with the line. I'll report it for you - your reference number is 999AA99.
ME: When will it get fixed?
SUPPORT: Well the exchange will test if the problem is on their side straight away. If they can't fix it from their side they'll call you to come out to sort out the problem on your side.
ME: What number will they call?
SUPPORT: What number should they call on?
ME: *Give cell number* What number can I call to follow up?
SUPPORT: *Gives number*
Finish call and I hope for the best.

Now gone 10.00p.m.
ADSL still down. No phonecall. So much for that special 24 hour service I pay extra for.

To do list:
Cr*p on Telkom
Find new ISP
Terminate ISP service with Telkom
Post this story on every damn forum I can find.

Oh yes - Why am I a fool?
Because I believed them every time. Even the last one.
I mean, thinking about it afterwards; How the hell is she logging the problem if all Telkom internal systems are down?