It takes some people a lifetime to realise what they were put on earth for, that special purpose, that unique reason to live, that feeling that " wow" this is it!!!!
My realisation came fairly late in life. but I know that it took special, clever brains from either England, America Japan or China to invent the product that was destined to occupy me for the rest of my life on earth!
I spend a good few hours per night practicing this special duty, presented to me by these clever rocket scientists, in fact I think that I spend more time resolving this than they spent inventing and manufacturing it!
I know you are burning to find out what this is;
Well!, I will take the risk of letting out this secret!


F I T T E D S H E E T S !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They never stay on the mattress, they always un-bungie themselves, they always end up as a bundle on top of the mattress, they always irritate the Sh!8t out of you and you have to wake up ( not difficult!), get out of bed( VERY DIFFICULT), pull until your fingers hurt and tuck the corners back under the mattress!
Then as soon as you climb back into bed. you hear the rubber bands ZING! ZAP!! off the corners again.
WHY!!!!! couldn't they just use a little bit more material, or stronger elastic bands?????
I know! it is to keep suckers like me busy while I am supposed to be sleeping ! and that keeps me all bright eyed and bushy tailed the next day !
And my wife wonders why I "got out on the wrong side of the bed" it's because I struggled with all sides and corners of the bed ALL night.
Can anyone suggest or help???????????