For those who don't have the time to read a long post..........now's the time to leave. It's a loooong story.

So, I was requested to do a job for one of my loyal local clients on one of his properties in Durban.

No problem. The assignment was to seperate the installation of a double story house into two. A DB downstairs and another upstairs for 2 sets of tenants with their own prepaid meters. Piece of takkie. Do it regularly.

Firstly, if you have a vehicle with mags, then do not tackle the road between East London and Durban via Port St Johns. You will NOT make it without 1 or 2 rims damaged beyong repair, guaranteed. Fortunately, because of the state of the roads in East London, I long ago had the mags on my Opel Estate removed and steel rims fitted...... I made it, even after all those potholes which are unavoidable at times.

Halfway between Port Edward and Durban, my assistant says " Mr Stuart, your car is overheating". Checked the guage......normal.
I then had to explain to him that the heat he was feeling was quite normal for this area and the car was ok. His eyes got bigger.

The job was in Phoenix, so we book into a hotel at Mount Edcombe.

The reception area was well air conditioned and cool so I had no hesitation booking in and paying. Unfortunately the same cannot be said for the rooms. No air conditioning and the ceiling fan would not work on any speed other than dead slow. We survived the night, only just.

It was challenging because the property we were working on had no water or electricity. We had to plan our bathroom breaks accordingly.

Just a warning. In the Phoenix area, If you need to use the facilities at a petrol station, you are charged R2 to gain entry, but be sure to carry your own bog roll because there ain"t any inside. Don't know what they use the entry fee for ?

After a sweating first day, we decide to cool down, have a game of pool and relax.

In the bar at the hotel I order a double of my favourite, with plenty of ice and a soda water. No ice bucket available on counter. Glass arrives with 2 of the smallest ice cubes I have ever seen. Request more ice. NADA. Only 2 blocks per glass, policy, I kid you not. A man is dying of the heat and before you have your first sip, the ice is no more. Ridiculous.

So we decide to have a game of pool. R5 into the slot and away we go. Trying to play bottom or side, for those who understand is absolutely impossible ..... no chalk available. What do we pay the R5 for? Even a straight shot is impossible.

To navigate the roads is something else for us out of towners. A nightmare.

I must say that my trip to ARB in Durban North was not that bad, except that the sales lady didn't know the difference between a flush box and surface box. The free 2 complimentary cups of coffee were good, though.

Survival kit for contractors from out of town visiting Durban is as follows.

1. Big brass goens for driving in Durban traffic.
2. A cooler box with plenty of ice.
3. A couple of bog rolls.
4. Chalk, if you into snooker or pool.
5. First enquire if the rooms have aircons before booking in and paying.

The best road in Durban ? The N2 South out of Durban. Half way between Durban and Port Edward, the traffic returns to what I consider normal.

To my brothers in Durban, it doesn't matter how much money you make, you can have that heat and mad traffic. It's not for me. My goens are not big enough.

I'm glad I survived the last couple of days. Never again.

Cheers and peace out ... Derek