Interesting and funny newspaper articles

[Citizen X]

"INYOKA FRIED IN THE RAIN!"


“I´m singin´ in the rain
Just singin´ in the rain….
Let the stormy clouds chase.
Everyone from the place,
Come on with the rain
I have a smile on my face…” Oh Damn!! Wrong song!! Sorry about that…
Definitional clause
“Izinyoka,”is an isiZulu word which mean ‘snakes!” Here in South Africa we use it to refer to thieves who steal electricity cables and/or electricity by illegal connections.
“ An UNLUCKY inyoka() was fried to death while stealing from other iz-inyoka().
They were shocked to find him dead next to their cables with a saw and a knife nearby. He was killed while cutting a live cable at the worse time, while it was raining early on Monday morning.”
And- ladies and gentleman, the response from the thief being stolen from(the victim):

“An angry Nomxolisi Mvumthuza(46) of Port Elizabeth Westville squatter camp said he was trying to steal from her family. BUT she ADDED: “ WE make OUR ILLEGAL connections in daylight and are not afraid of the cops because our government has let us down.”
“While the dead man’s body was being taken away, another inyoka was spotted hard at work.”

[Citizen X]

Python terror in cop shop
Instead of shooting to kill the python…
“ Mokalapa dashed for the door screaming” Yoooh! Yoooh! This snake is alive. Shoot it! Kill it!”
“ Terrified cops stampeded for the door. Others jumped over the charge office desk with their R5 rifles and pistols. The villagers who had captured the reptile stormed into the cop shop and attacked the snake AGAIN. This time they made sure it was dead. They dragged it outside by its tail and relieved cops returned to work.
“These cops are COWARDS, “ said Solly ANGRILY.” They were watching terrified as we fought and killed the snake, and now they want us to leave it behind.”

[Citizen X]

Daily Sun readers are progressive in their outlook, open to new experiences and eager to explore the opportunities the new social, political and economic environment offers. They are the major beneficiaries of change in this country. Their living conditions and general standard of living changed almost overnight as access to housing, electricity, running water, job opportunities and minimum wages came sweeping through under a new democratic government. Our reader thrives under these conditions and will typically take advantage of these opportunities in order to improve his or her general well-being.[1]

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[1] Vide: http://www.media24.com/en/newspapers/emerging-markets/daily-sun.html. Accessed. 24 March 2013