Attitude problem

[twinscythe12332]

normality is a distortion via perception. The perceptions of those around you influence your thoughts and thus what you perceive may not be normal to you. This would explain why some people suddenly look around and realise they're standing over the guy who was running his mouth earlier, while others seek to take a more tactful position.
In the end, it's your values that count for/against you in those situations.

[adrianh]

Ag ou broer, I just wanted to know how you came to your conclusion?

[mother]

I don't think that people with bad attitudes know that they have bad attitudes. I believe you judge your own actions based on what you perceive to be right and wrong, given your blueprint (i.e. the example you grew up with). Your blueprint is so intricately woven into your character, like it or not, that you can't really remove yourself from it to adopt a whole different set of values. Therefore, each person's definition of "bad" would necessarily be the opposite of his own definition of "good", and his own perception of "good" would obviously include whatever actions and reactions were always "acceptable", as per the example he saw throughout his childhood.

So then, what I consider "bad", is not necessarily the same as what you consider "bad".

[mother]

Oops, I wasn't finished...

Still, every culture has a general standard of acceptable behaviour. And within your culture, I would hope that all parents raise their children according to that standard. Behaviour like disrespect, vandalism, bullying, laziness, etc (i.e. behaviour that harms another person or harms society), is generally taboo in most cultures. And where an individual displays this kind of behaviour, without any sense of wrongdoing, (unless he is a certified sociopath/psychopath) I blame the parents. Either the parents displayed the same behaviour, therefore showing by example that it is acceptable, or the parents neglected to discipline the child, thus allowing taboo behaviour to become acceptable.

[Dave A]

I blame the parents.

Kinda took a while for the thread to wander to this point. Well worth the journey, though. Lots of great posts to chew over.

While I agree that parenting is the starting point, it certainly isn't the end of it - especially when it comes to bad attitude problems.

Fact is people do change their behaviour based on repeated feedback and results. The problem with bad attitude is most times people avoid giving the feedback needed because of the consequences. And worse still - most often having a bad attitude means people get their own way.

The hard truth I'm seeing is all too often modern society inadvertently rewards bad attitude.

So is it too much to conclude that one of the greatest flaws of modern civilisation is it actually encourages bad attitude?

[Dave S]

My boss could be considered to have an 'attitude'. He tends to ramble on about topics and changes the topic before anyone has offered a response, if he is interupted then the "interuptee" is told they are rude. However, had this person not interupted, the debate would have included only the bosses opinion. Is this typical of many persons holding positions of leadership, generally considering that they have the correct answers and that subordinates are not as informed or knowlegable and therefore not capable of offering an alternative point of view?

I always insist on treating the CEO with the same attitude as I would the Gardener, simply because both have a valid point of view. Is it disrespectful to consider people as complete equals whether they are a CEO or a Mechanic?

[Dave S]

I blame the parents.

I don't fully blame the parents, yes they set up the basic behaviour of the child, but the decision to carry a bad attitude was the individuals decision. Besides, parenting doesn't come with a handbook...

[tec0]

I wouldn't prejudge someone. When you are in my line of work it is difficult not to prejudge people. So I started reading books about people's behaviour and the like. I found that half of those books were absolute rubbish! Fact is normal for you and normal for me are not the same thing. There is no principal formula for behaviour thus I based my decision and attitude on the information that is available to me.

I can say it works. It works very well. People in my line of work is normally hated. I am one of the few safety officers that got recommendations from both the company's management and the employees. Sadly my own manager hated me so I am back fixing scrapper PC's but the idea is sound.

[adrianh]

And where an individual displays this kind of behaviour, without any sense of wrongdoing, (unless he is a certified sociopath/psychopath) I blame the parents. Either the parents displayed the same behaviour, therefore showing by example that it is acceptable, or the parents neglected to discipline the child, thus allowing taboo behaviour to become acceptable.

...and if the person is 35 years old?


My parents were perfectly good - my brother and sister grew up to do very well. I couldn't care less, doesn't what my parents said, I did what I wanted to. What I am saying is that people make their own choices irrespective of what the parents say or do. Parents can only advise, they cannot mould their children to their own likeness!

[wynn]

I believe that your first reaction to someone with a bad attitude is to mirror them.
So if I aproach you with a query or request and you give me BA I will respond negatively.
The only time I will deal in future is if you are the only person with that product or skills that I need otherwise it is off to the opposition I go, provided they have a better attitude.

You will probably sit there wondering why nobody wants to do business with you getting a worse attitude about people.

Remember the customer may be an Ar$#ole but he is always right!