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Thread: Why family businesses fail

  1. #1
    Diamond Member adrianh's Avatar
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    Why family businesses fail

    I have honestly come to the realization that I am doomed to live a life of mediocrity, a life of democratic failure; here's why:

    I do not believe a family business can succeed if there is too much democracy. Things simply do not get done because instructions cannot be given and carried out. How do get the wife to go to the post office or do the shopping rounds when her attitude is "F you, do it yourself because this is a democracy". You know that you have to spend a lot of time running around on tasks that need to be done but do not require you to do them. How do you explain to the wife that you have to spend a couple of days at the computer drawing or whatever so as to get an important task finished when her attitude is "this is a 50/50 relationship and you have to do you share of the running around chores"

    I suppose you will think that I am sexist or self centred, it might be true but the problem is that things simply don't get done unless I do them myself, that democracy is the root of many problems within a business because when people are able to tell you to f-off and do things yourself then you are simply unable to steer a ship, yet they are unwilling to steer the ship themselves.

    What is the bottom line; f...cked if you do and f..cked if you don't...

    I accept that my lot in life is simply to live a mediocre democratic life of going "I'm not even going to ask you to do anything because I know that in a democratic environment I will get to do it myself anyway, where the only politically correct answer is "yes dear, whatever you say..." and the thought process that goes along with it is "f..ck it...its not worth the fight...if it gets done it does and if it doesn't then it is what it is"

    I think that women burned the bra and gained equality, women are now able to stand up for themselves and tell men to f-off. I think that it is sad in some ways, I think that men do enjoy truly feminine women who wear dresses and are still girls at heart. But in a world of democratic equality that no longer exists, we are now equal and the female thought process is now "I do what I want and you are simply the ahole that I live with" "I do not look up to you in anyway because we are equal" I would love cherish and care for another person who looks up to me in some way but we lose our souls somewhere along the married line, I think it happens when one eventually realizes that the only correct answer is "yes dear" and you simply wipe the question, answer and idea from your mind so as to retain the democratic status quo, when keeping the peace becomes more important than anything else. Is this what married life and partnership is about? maybe, it is sad though....

    This in't a rant or attack or anything, it is merely a train of thought that's been rummaging around my mind for a long time....
    How easily someone is offended is directly proportional to how stupid they are.
    ~GS Elevator

  2. #2
    Platinum Member pmbguy's Avatar
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    You can’t have 2 bosses with equal say but overlapping responsibilities. One person has to be in charge, if both are in charge they must have separate responsibilities.

    I am lucky in that I am in charge, my wife helps with some of the admin but has zero say in how I conduct my business. She can suggest things but I have the final say. My wife is in charge of all domestic matters, therefore the title of Domestic Manager, But I am in charge of all the big decisions and my business.

    Adrian I still think you should get a PA, your PA not your wife’s. This will take allot of pressure of you and resolve much of the conflict borne out of both of you running the business together. I have said this before, the cost of employing a PA will be small compared to how much more work you can get done – more work more bucks
    It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change. Charles Darwin

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    Diamond Member adrianh's Avatar
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    I honestly agree with you. It's extremely difficult to work like this because each decision is a democratic / diplomatic debate. Look, I'm not the most organized person in the world and I am really scatter brained, maybe that's exactly why your idea is such a good one. One of the biggest problems is running errands, I suppose she feels that it is beneath her but it still needs to get done. I am going to investigate the PA idea further because that may just be the solution, that way I can take the load off the wife as well so that she can get on with the things that are important to her and we can get out of each other's hair.
    How easily someone is offended is directly proportional to how stupid they are.
    ~GS Elevator

  4. #4
    Email problem KimH's Avatar
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    Adrian, you're in the Northern Subs if I recall right?
    I have a part time PA/Admin Clerk that helps me for a few hours a week and she's looking to fill the extra hours - if you are interested in someone part time I can highly recommend her.
    PM for more info if interested.

    ...
    Kim
    "If at first you don't succeed, do it like your mother told you."

  5. #5
    Diamond Member adrianh's Avatar
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    Hi Kim, the problem is bigger than the odd's and ends admin. We are very busy all the time and there are always things that need to be done. It's more a matter of having somebody at hand all the time, like a shadow almost.
    How easily someone is offended is directly proportional to how stupid they are.
    ~GS Elevator

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    I run a business where there are 4 family members involved including me,from shareholders to director to buyer.We all seem to get along well most of the time but there are times were it does get very heated.I am lucky because even though I am younger, they respect me and let me make the decisions.

    I won't lie,it is difficult at times but we all get through our problems.

  7. #7
    Diamond Member adrianh's Avatar
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    What kinda business are you in?
    How easily someone is offended is directly proportional to how stupid they are.
    ~GS Elevator

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    Platinum Member pmbguy's Avatar
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    And how much do you pay your in-house psychologist?
    It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change. Charles Darwin

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    LOL,food manufacturing.

  10. #10
    Diamond Member HR Solutions's Avatar
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    Adrian - we can find you someone if you would like ?
    HR Solutions - Recruitment Specialists - Johannesburg & Capetown Tel: 0861-045-263
    Upload your CV @ www.2hrs.co.za

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