The Boere Computer Dictionary From South Africa

* Monitor - Keeping an eye on the braai

* Download - Get the firewood off the bakkie

* Hard drive - Trip back home without any cold beer

* Keyboard - Where you hang the bakkie and bike keys

* Window - What you shut when it's cold

* Screen - What you shut in the mosquito season

* Byte - What mosquitoes do

* Bit - What mosquitoes did

* Mega Byte - What mosquitoes at the lake do

* Chip - A bar snack

* Micro Chip - What's left in the bag after you have eaten the chips

* Modem - What you did to the lawns

* Dot Matrix - Oom Jan Matrix's wife

* Laptop - Where the cat sleeps

* Software - Plastic knives and forks you get at KFC

* Hardware - Real stainless steel knives and forks from Checkers

* Mouse - What eats the grain in the shed

* Mainframe - What holds the shed up

* Web - What spiders make

* Web Site - The shed (or under the verandah)

* Cursor - The old bloke that swears a lot

* Search Engine - What you do when the bakkie won't go

* Yahoo - What you say when the bakkie does go

* Upgrade - A steep hill

* Server - The person at the pub that brings out the lunch

* Mail Server - The bloke at the pub that brings out the lunch

* User - The neighbour that keeps borrowing things

* Network - When you have to repair your fishing net

* Internet - Complicated fish net repair method

* Netscape - When fish maneuvers out of reach of net

* Online - When you get the laundry hung out

* Off Line - When the pegs don't hold the washing up