Switch on laptop. Wait standard time for all the start-up PITA to get done. Start trying to use machine.

At first I thought that everything was locked up completely. When eventually I manage to get the processes report open svchost.exe on SYSTEM is running the CPU at 99%. And carries on doing so for at least the the next 10 minutes. And when the process ends, straight into downloading a Microsoft update.

I know I only have a lowly Intel Pentium M processor running at a meager 1.86GHz, but this is ridiculous. At least flash a message before you rape the capacity that says

"Your machine is about to be rendered inoperable for a while. We strongly suggest you go and make yourself a cup of coffee, have a smoke, go chat in the staff lounge etc. whilst you wait for use of your computer to be restored to you."

Alternatively, if you're going to run "background" software, at least cap CPU usage to something reasonable, like 50%