Do not read this!
by, 24-Aug-12 at 09:27 AM (20455 Views)
Star Date 1999
These are extracts from from my first book that led to the idea of the million rand Hello World digital book.
F E A R
DO NOT READ THIS! Okay rule breaker read on
The Key maker “Always another way!”
For the longest time I refused to sit and write this chapter, I guess my own sense of fear got the better of me. What is this feeling of fear? Why do with carry it around with us like jewelry and let it bog us down.
On a daily basis I am confronted by fears, some smaller then others, e.g this morning I was afraid that I might not have electricity to make the morning cup of coffee. When I go deeper down the rabbit hole exploring my fear of no electricity, I know I find it is baseless, because I could always, light a fire and boil the H20 for my morning cuppa, granted this morning, I knew that was not an option given the sudden spell of rain that fell yesterday and my wood being wet.
What is surprising is that fear is an important part of the human psyche, it is our primal protector, extending from the mind down to our reptilian brain, the key fight or flight response lies here. As an i Goffal, I know that I am supposed to let go of all fear and doubts, yet they still tend to linger in my mind, like a fart in a commuter on a cold window closed day.
As Goffasl we even have our own word for fear, B U N G, I am not sure the root of the word, for much in our language is borrowed from other languages, though they are a few words that we have created ourselves. I like to believe that Bung is one of them. What is this feeling of being bung?
As I continue to write this chapter, I know why I was afraid to write it, because in a sense it means having to confront my own fears. So what is my greatest fear, I think by far and large it would be the Zim Cop Force, just the light of that bright yellow pinny is enough to send shivers down my spine.
So for arguments sake lets calls this fear, this bungness of the Zuff Fear 1. This fear is not empty fear like the Fear 7 fear of no electricity, this is based of fact, every time I am meet these men in bright yellow pinnys they always seem to find away of getting their hands in my pockets. The one time I was out of pocket but given the color of my skin they refused to believe so I was made to sit for hours on end, till I came up with a plan to put money in their hands, or I guess you could say food on their table.
I will leave fear 1 alone for awhile because already I fearing bungness that one of you my face book friends and family could be one of the yellow dressers. And that small statement above "could earn me the right to a few smacks” As Ed puts it.
My second fear, would be fear of green traffic lights, I so hate it when I approach a traffic light and find that it is green, because given my luck as I drive through that traffic light it will change to Amber and on the other side Fear 1 will be waiting for me, with a smile on his face.
I am afraid to read or watch the news, but am forced to, because if I don’t there might be some new law, like needing to have a fire extinguisher and 2 red triangles in ones car. And so I have to deal with fear 3 everyday just so that on November 1 I will be prepared for there smiling faces, when they ask for my red triangles.
So you might be wondering why I took to fear 4 before fear three and perhaps thinking that I may be dexlobsticks and you would be right about that, but fear 3 is reserved for that one thing we all fear death, death of self and death of loved ones. Fear 3 does not weigh so heavy on me any more, because most of my loved ones are already dead and buried, and my own personal fear of death seems to have faded like a star. As a matter of fact I don’t even know where fear 3 was born because like William said the sure thing in life is death and taxes, why would one be bung of a sure thing?
I know that this chapter is short, because they are designed for those who are too busy to read, or too busy working, but need a break from the monotony of their jobs. So I will end this chapter like so.
What you focus on grows, and if you focus of your fears, they will grow, if you focus on overcoming fear, your overcoming ability will grow. But alas the sense of irony, fear of failure like in an exam could make you study harder and hence past, fear of like not being able to conceive could stress the body into not conceiving. I have been vieome, and you have been the reader, have a nice day.
P.S as usual the words in blue are links that take you deeper into the story!
And I will inform you that this chapter is far from over and will continue to evolve so make sure you read it again sometime in the future that is now.
The pursuit of happy-ness, the quint-essential current, that drives the human animal, the current that beats his heart, powers his brain, this human element, which I found to be the most elusive beast. For happyness had no mountain to climb, no peaks to spend night and day on, no tears to cry. happyness had its home, at the secret hiding place, of the smile, with misery and suffering guarding its gates.
I am no quiter, even when hardest hit, you can knock me down, and on the way down, I will be, already dusting myself off and getting prepared to try again, to rise again. At some time, in the not so distant past, I sat down for a lecture, with Plato and while everything, he said, sounded like Greek to me, "Temet Nosce" know thyself young man(woman). ", something, socratoic echoed in my mind.
" The un-examined mind is not worth having. "
I left Plato with some Greek in my head, and took a peace(piece) of his information, as luggage and continued my journey, my hunt, my hunger, for the answer, to the moving target of happy-ness. A few years later, I arrived in an ancient buddhist monastry.
I meditated long and deep, on the Koan "what is moo?." Was it nothing, was it no thing. Then, if I remember correctly, it was sometime, after those thoughts, that I was in a lesson, with the master teacher. We sat in the class, with the teacher silent for a long while, then he finally said,
" I smile because I am happy? I am happy because I smile ? "
My focus shifted from the lesson, to the rumble in my stomach, my mind filled with thoughts of chicken, and how chicken tasted like everything, then journeyed to the story of the chicken and the egg. Sometime later, I brought my mind back, to what the master was saying. One of my fellow students was bored and causing a racket, so the master called him, to the front of the class, to explain himself. The young man walked, up to the front of the class and slapped the teacher, and the teacher looked up and smiled. This was all zen to me.
The path of a thousand thoughts
When I left the monastry, I wandered off and found myself in <a href="http://www.stanford.edu/dept/HPS/Baudrillard/Baudrillard_Simulacra.html">Baudrillards</a> "desert of the real," surrounded by lonely-ness, and a vacant place where my soul used to be. Miles and miles of sand, with my kingdom in my hand, looking for the seller of water. A mirage, not of images, but that of sound, called out to me, in the voice of Morgan Freeman.
"Happy-ness is an inside job . "
It was then that I knew I had the power to choose my own thoughts. No longer in the vast space of my mind, would I, one second entertain, any of those words that you might be thinking now.
" this is so hard "
" where will I get money to pay the bills"
" if only i had a women like her I will be happy"
" I hate this job"
" why me "
"why me "
" when will things change "
" I am so tied of all this sh*te "
I started to see my thoughts, the many, for what they were, baseless fears designed for one thing, to create fear and doubt. I put my hand, in my pocket and pulled out a mustard seed. Then and old <a href="http://www.imsdb.com/scripts/Kung-Fu-Panda.html">tortoise</a> in a race with a rabbit, ooked at me and smiled and then said.
"Yesterday is history(dont dwell on a past you cant change)"
"Tommorrow is a mystery(if you dont know that what you sow, is what you reap)
" Today is a gift! that is why they call it the present "
What you are thinking now, is causing you to feel, how you are feeling now. I continued my wander, around baudrillards desert and soon found the water seller, I offered him my kingdom, but he said "
"No thanks! today I am only taking payment, in smiles!"
Total Trackbacks 0